I switched my gaze to the top of his nose to put a boundary between us. Most people I met outside of work told me I was a great listener, unaware of how much time I spent in my room practicing the correct reactions. I sat down at the bar and ordered a Hennessy on the rocks. Forty years later, muxes vary widely in appearance. When I walked into a club to ask for a job, to my surprise, I realized it was just a bar with the usual roles reversed: Skin is tucked, squished and exposed in tight dresses of glittering fabric, or completely covered in indigenous embroidered gowns.
Men dance with men, flocking around their favorite muxes. On the floor of the club, I spent hours practicing each weekend, and for the first time in my life, I learned how to cut through layers of language in real time, just like Claire, until it became effortless. The hour and a half crawled by. I gradually pulled the blame away from myself and labeled the things about me that were naturally different, not defective. I walked under the familiar lights to the dressing room. It was getting late, two hours before closing, and I was exhausted and frustrated. They can be seen wearing the traditional Tehuana costume of the region, a two-part gown made up of a huipil — a shirt with colorful embroidery — and a long skirt that usually matches the top. Muxe sexuality relies on traditional notions of gender roles here. You get one free drink. But here not so much. I took a deep breath and approached her, brushing aside the fringe curtain separating the lap dance room from the bar. Golden necklaces made of coins are the finishing touch to the outfits. When I walked into a club to ask for a job, to my surprise, I realized it was just a bar with the usual roles reversed: When he has dried himself off, he puts on a corset and wig and applies dramatic makeup to contour his face. I started asking for advice, addressing some of my other issues first like getting lost in obsessive thought. Across town, through the blanched walls of the church and past the bustling marketplace, an older man layers golden necklaces over his starched white button-down, while his maid hands him a pair of black slacks. That conversation lasted minutes, but the advice made for a successful career. I can see their faces now, wide-eyed and uncomfortable, but at the time they coalesced into one indistinguishable figure, Dave Matthews playing in the background taking precedent. So, I led him into the corner, which opened up to the club like the bow of a ship, public and safe, for one quick dance. Our first effort was the creation of a social network called Switter which gave sex workers from around the globe a space to stay connected with their peers and ensure resources were still accessible. And of course, one which would be continually implementing the latest technologies to improve workflow. But I still had so much to learn. There were six of us around a small table. Some can be seen in conservative Tehuana gowns, others in jeans and blouses, or skintight dresses with platform heels and voluminous hair. Nearly two years after I started dancing, my friend Sarah invited me to her birthday party. A day after the vela, matronly silhouettes will drift into the church for Mass, starched white petticoats dusting the floor of the cathedral.
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